Is There Hope After Sexual Abuse?
As a childhood sexual abuse survivor, did you ask yourself, “Is there hope after sexual abuse?” How will you now live and move forward?
During and after my abuse, I felt hopeless and full of despair. I felt used and dirty. I was ashamed and embarrassed. I felt my life was shattered.
Hi, this is Kurt B. Ellis, an author who self-publishes with Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing.
My sadistic brother was my primary sexual abuser, who also groomed and prostituted me to be a sex worker for a local satanic cult of which he was a member. I became a victim of continuously repeated horrific savage acts of child and sexual abuse. My abuse lasted for eleven years and ended when I was seventeen.
Stay tuned, and let me share how I gained hope after my sexual abuse.
My Recovery of Hope
Immediately after my abuse, I was confused and angry. I was so ashamed, afraid, and controlled by societal and family expectations that I internalized everything and shoved it deep into my consciousness. I kept silent for years, but my anger festered.
My salvation was my incredible grandpa. I don’t think he knew of my circumstances. He shared his vast wisdom while in his seventies. He became my north star. “When life gets you down, which will be often, don’t wallow in your sorrow. Rather, learn from those hard lessons and don’t repeat them. Get yourself up and move forward. Because all you’ve ever got left is your future!”
By age fifteen, I decided to get an education and get the hell out of that community. I longed to turn eighteen so I could escape from my dysfunctional family. I became doggedly determined to move forward and make something out of myself. I developed a steel will and became stubbornly resolute in my goals.
Rather than crying over every obstacle I faced, I learned from them, pivoted, and moved forward. Life, nevertheless, was not easy. I struggled early on with financial problems and low self-esteem. But still, I stayed focused. I made many mistakes and did things I was not proud of. But still, I moved forward. Learned and stayed focused on goals.
And soon, I started getting some breaks. First was an academic scholarship, enough money to pay back debts and new expenses. Then, I completed my undergraduate degree. This led to admission to graduate school, and about five years later, I graduated with a Ph.D. And that degree changed my life forever in a positive direction. I got well-paying jobs.
I also became frugal, spent conservatively, and invested well. And this plan became the basis for the rest of my life. I retired early and still live frugally but comfortably. Now, I have peace and a sense of well-being.
So, the bottom line is, don’t let the bad in your life define and cripple you. Instead, move forward and become the best despite your horrible situation. And this is precisely what I have shared in my latest novel.
My Novel
My novel begins with my horrible childhood and continues through my remarkable journey of survival and recovery. My novel’s title is “Boy in the Barn: Journey of Triumph Over Horrific Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and PTSD.” It’s an inspiring LGBTQIA+ coming-of-age story about hope, courage, and the resilience of the human spirit.
My novel is for sale on Amazon in Kindle, paperback, and audiobook form. The audiobook is also distributed on Audible and iTunes. You can read or listen to my painful but inspirational story to learn more about how I survived my abuse and made the best of my life despite my horrible childhood.
As a reminder, please leave an honest review and rating for my books or audiobook. This helps me to be recognized by other valuable readers like yourself.
Thank You for Your Time
Thank you for your time today. Also, click on the links below and see my published books. Like my video? Hit the subscribe button and give me a thumbs up.
And don’t forget that your feedback is always greatly valued and much appreciated. I enjoy hearing from you. So please leave your comments below, and I will respond to you as soon as possible.
Have a wonderful day!
Book Reviews and Promotions
My inspiring LGBTQIA+ coming-of-age story is about hope, courage, and the resilience of the human spirit.
My novel has received great reviews on Amazon and Goodreads.
You can find a full review by Robin Ginther-Venneri on her website, “Robin’s Review,” and her site on TikTok.
Also, you can see my novel listed in online blogs at “The Novel Bookstore,” “Readers Village,” “Mystery & Thriller Library,” and “Amazon Book of the Day.”
In addition, you can find my novel spotlighted on Instagram by author Leonora Ross and promoted at “It’s Write Now,” “Book Hub,” and “Book Knocks.”
Reviews of my favorite books
The Lookback Window by Kyle Dillon HertzMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
A Masterfully Written Novel!
As a childhood sexual abuse victim by male abusers, I agreed to review this book with feelings of reserved curiosity. Nevertheless, I was quickly impressed with the writer’s style. Hertz demonstrates a mastery of English with his colorful use of words to set the theme and plot and convey his characters’ thoughts and feelings.
Hertz takes you on the painful journey of Dylan, the main character, to find peace with his traumatic past of horrific childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a duplicitous boyfriend who pimped him out to a group of pedophiles. In addition, this boyfriend introduced him to a world of severe drug use and sex addiction. Dylan struggles through it into adulthood, making many mistakes while trying to get justice against his abusers. Yet the clock is ticking, with the statute of limitations against crimes committed many years before. Ultimately, Dylan obtains much-needed evidence to cinch his case with the FBI.
This was a book that I found hard to put down and compelled to keep reading. As a sexual abuse victim, I empathized with Dylan, understood his many struggles, and wanted justice for his abusers. I loved this novel until the end, and I’m sure you will too.
I received an ARC of the Kindle and voluntarily submitted this review.
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The Deviant by Adam SommersMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Mesmerizing Until the Last Page!
As a male sexual abuse victim of male abusers, I had ambivalent feelings about reading this book by Adam Sommers. But I was intrigued to read this story about male sexual abuse victims of a female abuser. This twisted narration does not disappoint. Sommers lays out the journey of an extremely wealthy woman who uses her position in life to take advantage of and sexually victimize her male employees. The characters were well-developed, and the story was spellbinding. I was mesmerized until the last page.
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I Know Where You Live by Gregg OlsenMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Disturbing and Intense!
I was reeled in by Gregg Olsen’s hook in the first chapter. And I didn’t want to stop reading until the end. This was a disturbing story and intense to read. Olsen used his platform to bring to light the common problem of the long-lasting effects of child sexual abuse and how it impacts families for a lifetime. I loved how Olsen headed up chapters with different characters' views. It helped me to keep track of all the main- and subplots. Amazingly, this book had an unexpected twist at the end with one of its sub-characters. It created an ending I did not expect. An engaging thriller to read, for sure!
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Fear Collector by Gregg OlsenMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Intoxicating “Who Done It”
I describe this book as an intoxicating “who done it.” Olsen masterfully pulls you in with a series of unresolved murders of young women in Tacoma, WA. Some subplots steer you in one direction, making you think you’ve resolved the murder mysteries. Yet, it is not until the last chapters that the real murderer is revealed, a person unsuspected from the beginning. Once I got into it, this book was hard to put down. A captivating thriller to the last page!
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Paint by Murders by Amanda JaegerMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Mesmerized Until the End!
I was pleasantly surprised to read this thriller by Amanda Jaeger. I am not interested in art or paintings, so I started this book with ambivalent feelings. But Jaeger masterfully uses this backdrop to draw the reader in and hold their attention. Once I started reading, I didn’t want to stop until I finished; I was mesmerized until the end. Jaeger ends her book on a cliffhanger, and it begs for a sequel. Dive in and hold on! You will not be disappointed.
I received an ARC of this book and voluntarily submitted this review.
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Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia OwensMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Written With Poetic Color
As a southerner, I read this book with initial mixed feelings, only to find myself drawn to it in the middle and couldn’t put it down. Owens does a magnificent job of writing with colorful, almost poetic, imagery of the North Carolina coastline depicting a time during the 1900s when the south transitioned from old to new. Linking nature to human frailty, this is a captivating murder mystery with a surprise at the end that shows all is not as it appears. An intriguingly entertaining book to read.
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Mandate Thirteen by Joseph J. DowlingMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
An Exciting Dystopian Thriller
I was pleasantly surprised to read this dystopian thriller by Joseph Dowling. Dowling takes you along the perilous journey of Michael Randall and his daughter, Hope, to escape their rigidly controlled English government. A country where thirteen-year-old girls are forced to submit to fertility tests for government-run baby factories. She finds refuge in Scotland with her father’s brother. Yet, it is unclear what will happen to Michael. This book is ripe for a sequel. Jump in! I’m sure you’ll enjoy the ride. You will not be disappointed.
I received an ARC of this book and voluntarily submitted this review.
View all my reviews
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