Why Tell Now?
As an adult survivor of childhood sexual abuse who is now in his sixties, I have finally decided to go public with my story. This is a decision that I have not taken lightly and have wrestled with for a lifetime.
My reason for sharing my story is that I sincerely hope to reach at least one other person, like me, who has suffered tremendously from sexual abuse to provide them with inspiration and support
Hi. This is Kurt B. Ellis, an author who self-publishes with Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing.
My book is about a little boy that grew up in the south during the repressive 1960s and was horribly sexually abused.
My soon-to-be-released realistic fiction book was inspired by actual life events.
My story is centered around my life: a life that is a journey from early boyhood sexual abuse and its effects, my struggles to overcome, my unwavering determination to survive, and my dogged determination to succeed and make something out of myself.
Stay tuned, and let me share more information about why I’ve decided to share my story.
What Motivated You to Go Forward with your Story?
There were many reasons why I delayed going forward with my story.
As a young man, I was in a bit of denial. I coped, then, by stuffing and burying the horrid memories in the deepest caverns of my consciousness.
I desperately wanted to believe that all the horrible things that happened to me were not true, that maybe, or perhaps just confused memories rattling around in my head. At least, then, that was what I had convinced myself.
As I grew older and life settled and calmed down, I began to have flashbacks. The cruel and horrid details came back fast and furious like a never-ending avalanche. Tormenting my reality, these memories forced me to accept the truth. The truth, I could no longer deny.
After some much-needed mid-life therapy, I was encouraged to journal my memories and to continue recovering. This journal of my recovery became the basis of my book, which I have worked on for the last twenty years.
Many in my home community, including family, will blast and condemn me for finally speaking out.
They will say things like, “How dare you do this! Why drag this up now? What is to be gained for coming out with this story after all these years?”
They would much rather I remain silent and take this quietly to my grave like those before and after me. But, you see, according to them, it should be done that way because that was what was expected in that society, to suffer silently and not bring shame to your family or community.
They will not try to understand, or better yet, even want to understand, the benefit to suffering victims for sharing one’s stories.
To help others to know that they are not alone. And to help others with much-needed resources.
Instead, they will scoff at these benefits because these will not fit into the ideals of their society which continue today.
I have arrived at a place in my life where I feel compelled to act, to break the bonds of secrets and chains of silence, to finally expose those perpetrators of years before for what they really are.
Because if this systemic abuse is still occurring today, I hope I can reach and help the current victims.
At the time, I thought I was alone. But nevertheless, I am confident I was not the only victim.
You see, boyhood sexual abuse is often overlooked and misunderstood. This is because males are conditioned by society to stay quiet and suffer in silence.
Sexually abused males are a silent minority. It has not been acceptable for males to speak out until the last few years.
But staying quiet and suffering without support or help can lead to additional traumas in one’s life.
Not all, but many survivors have many other issues to deal with as a direct result of their sexual abuse.
Thus, all the more reason to speak out and help out now.
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