Were You Selected for Sexual Abuse? – Boy in the Barn: Journey of Triumph Over Horrific Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and PTSD

My sexual abuse began when I was six and lasted for eleven years.

I was groomed and sexually abused for years by my sadistic brother. He then pimped me out to a pedophilic satanic cult he was a member of. This ended after I was useless to them when I sexually matured at seventeen.

My father was a workaholic and emotionally distant. As a result, I grew up not feeling loved by him. My mother was loving but also quite controlling. She did, however, try to compensate for his lack of attention. As a result, our family was quite dysfunctional.

I was the second male child born within a group of five children. I was the youngest. My older brother was extremely jealous of me and prone to extremes of manipulation, coercion, and violence. My three sisters and I feared my brother and father.

I was short and petite, always the smallest male in my class. I was also years behind in my physical development and sexual maturation.

I was a precocious child but not street-smart. I was perhaps a bit more naïve and gullible than most other kids my age.

I desperately wanted to be accepted by my peers and to fit in. I always felt like a bit of a loner. I wanted male friends and to have a positive male role model in my life.

My brother saw my weaknesses and took advantage of me. And once I became his sexual property, I was caught in a continuous cycle of shame, embarrassment, guilt, and further coercion and manipulation.

I was sexually abused multiple times each day for years. My complete silence was ensured with threats of violence and threats that they would also abuse my sister if I did not fully cooperate. He and the cult members knew I loved my sister and would do almost anything to protect her.

So I hope you can see the patterns which are common in sexually abused boys: absent or emotionally absent father, dysfunctional family, short petite stature and slow physical development, not street smart, a bit of a loner, hungry for male friends and male connections, low self-esteem and self-worth, easily manipulated, controlled and extorted.

Let this be a lesson to all young boys’ parents, loved ones, and guardians. Be on your guard for how sexual predators specifically target boys, the characteristics they are looking for, and how they go about securing their silence. Be on your guard to ensure that the sexual predation of children stops.