Get Revenge on Your Sexual Abusers?
As a childhood sexual abuse victim, did you ever want to get revenge on your sexual abusers?
Maybe this was something that you didn’t act on, but did you at least think or fantasize about it?
Hi, this is Kurt B. Ellis, an author who self-publishes with Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing. I am a childhood sexual abuse survivor who wrote this novel to share my story.
My novel’s title is “Boy in the Barn: Journey of Triumph Over Horrific Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and PTSD.”
This novel was based on my life. It begins with my horrible childhood and continues through my remarkable journey of survival and recovery.
Stay tuned, and let me share my story of revenge.
Almost Succeeded!
When it came to getting revenge on my sexual abusers, I certainly thought about it, even to the point of acting on it and almost succeeded.
Unfortunately, I came dangerously close to killing my primary abuser, that is, killing my sadistic brother.
After years of abuse, I was at my breaking point. And finally, when I matured and started filling out, I had the size, strength, and mental fortitude to take my brother on.
At seventeen, I decided to murder him when he came home on furlough from the Army. He was twenty-one, and sure enough, he wanted sex with me again.
I expected this and planned an elaborate scheme to take him out at the same place where he had brutally raped me when I was eleven.
My plan was to kill him and bury his body there.
At the last minute, I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t bring myself to go through with it. I wouldn’t lower myself to his level.
Instead, I finally stood up to him and promised I would kill him if he ever touched me again. He backed down because I was no longer the little boy he could dominate.
And my eleven years of contact sexual abuse ended that day. But I still had the mental scars and emotional fallout to deal with for the rest of my life.
I also had other abusers. Multiple men in a satanic cult that my brother introduced me to. I wanted revenge on them too, but that never materialized other than in my fantasies. Because their identities were always hidden behind masks.
Now in my 60s, I’m glad I didn’t succumb to my darker side. I did not become a killer or a child abuser like my brother. And I kept myself out of the North Carolina prison system.
Instead, my sweetest revenge was letting my brother know he did not defeat me; he could not and would not destroy me.
You see, as a teenager, I vowed that I would succeed in life and make something out of myself.
I proceeded to get an education and got the hell out of there. And my life was richer in the end for it.
And every time my brother saw me as an older, established adult man, I’m sure he was baffled why he did not destroy me.
And I did not purposely flaunt my success or wealth and rub it in his face. Instead, I simply existed; I just quietly existed and tried to live my life as a better person than him, regardless of my horrible past.
And that ate away at him until he took his last natural breath from advanced cancer in his early 60s. He hated me until his end. And quite honestly, I despised him until his end.
And that was my revenge.
In summary, you must read my novel to learn more about how I survived. How I went on to make the best out of my life, regardless of my horrid childhood.
Thank You for Your Time
Thank you for listening, and thank you for your time.
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Book Reviews and Promotions
My inspiring LGBTQIA+ coming-of-age story is about hope, courage, and the resilience of the human spirit.
My novel has received great reviews on Amazon and Goodreads.
You can find a full review by Robin Ginther-Venneri on her website, “Robin’s Review,” and her site on TikTok.
Also, you can see my novel listed in online blogs at “The Novel Bookstore,” “Readers Village,” “Mystery & Thriller Library,” and “Amazon Book of the Day.”
In addition, you can find my novel spotlighted on Instagram by author Leonora Ross and promoted at “It’s Write Now,” “Book Hub,” and “Book Knocks.”
Reviews of my favorite books

My rating: 5 of 5 stars
A Masterfully Written Novel!
As a childhood sexual abuse victim by male abusers, I agreed to review this book with feelings of reserved curiosity. Nevertheless, I was quickly impressed with the writer’s style. Hertz demonstrates a mastery of English with his colorful use of words to set the theme and plot and convey his characters’ thoughts and feelings.
Hertz takes you on the painful journey of Dylan, the main character, to find peace with his traumatic past of horrific childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a duplicitous boyfriend who pimped him out to a group of pedophiles. In addition, this boyfriend introduced him to a world of severe drug use and sex addiction. Dylan struggles through it into adulthood, making many mistakes while trying to get justice against his abusers. Yet the clock is ticking, with the statute of limitations against crimes committed many years before. Ultimately, Dylan obtains much-needed evidence to cinch his case with the FBI.
This was a book that I found hard to put down and compelled to keep reading. As a sexual abuse victim, I empathized with Dylan, understood his many struggles, and wanted justice for his abusers. I loved this novel until the end, and I’m sure you will too.
I received an ARC of the Kindle and voluntarily submitted this review.
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My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Mesmerizing Until the Last Page!
As a male sexual abuse victim of male abusers, I had ambivalent feelings about reading this book by Adam Sommers. But I was intrigued to read this story about male sexual abuse victims of a female abuser. This twisted narration does not disappoint. Sommers lays out the journey of an extremely wealthy woman who uses her position in life to take advantage of and sexually victimize her male employees. The characters were well-developed, and the story was spellbinding. I was mesmerized until the last page.
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My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Intoxicating “Who Done It”
I describe this book as an intoxicating “who done it.” Olsen masterfully pulls you in with a series of unresolved murders of young women in Tacoma, WA. Some subplots steer you in one direction, making you think you’ve resolved the murder mysteries. Yet, it is not until the last chapters that the real murderer is revealed, a person unsuspected from the beginning. Once I got into it, this book was hard to put down. A captivating thriller to the last page!
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My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Mesmerized Until the End!
I was pleasantly surprised to read this thriller by Amanda Jaeger. I am not interested in art or paintings, so I started this book with ambivalent feelings. But Jaeger masterfully uses this backdrop to draw the reader in and hold their attention. Once I started reading, I didn’t want to stop until I finished; I was mesmerized until the end. Jaeger ends her book on a cliffhanger, and it begs for a sequel. Dive in and hold on! You will not be disappointed.
I received an ARC of this book and voluntarily submitted this review.
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My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Disturbing and Intense!
I was reeled in by Gregg Olsen’s hook in the first chapter. And I didn’t want to stop reading until the end. This was a disturbing story and intense to read. Olsen used his platform to bring to light the common problem of the long-lasting effects of child sexual abuse and how it impacts families for a lifetime. I loved how Olsen headed up chapters with different characters' views. It helped me to keep track of all the main- and subplots. Amazingly, this book had an unexpected twist at the end with one of its sub-characters. It created an ending I did not expect. An engaging thriller to read, for sure!
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My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Written With Poetic Color
As a southerner, I read this book with initial mixed feelings, only to find myself drawn to it in the middle and couldn’t put it down. Owens does a magnificent job of writing with colorful, almost poetic, imagery of the North Carolina coastline depicting a time during the 1900s when the south transitioned from old to new. Linking nature to human frailty, this is a captivating murder mystery with a surprise at the end that shows all is not as it appears. An intriguingly entertaining book to read.
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My rating: 5 of 5 stars
An Exciting Dystopian Thriller
I was pleasantly surprised to read this dystopian thriller by Joseph Dowling. Dowling takes you along the perilous journey of Michael Randall and his daughter, Hope, to escape their rigidly controlled English government. A country where thirteen-year-old girls are forced to submit to fertility tests for government-run baby factories. She finds refuge in Scotland with her father’s brother. Yet, it is unclear what will happen to Michael. This book is ripe for a sequel. Jump in! I’m sure you’ll enjoy the ride. You will not be disappointed.
I received an ARC of this book and voluntarily submitted this review.
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