Memory Issues from Childhood Trauma?
Do you have memory issues from childhood trauma? Have you experienced repressed memory due to chronic child abuse or sexual abuse?
Has your memory of this time seemed foggy, sketchy, or unclear? Did your memories return to you later like waves of a tormenting flood?
Hi, this is Kurt B. Ellis, an author who self-publishes with Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing. I am a victim of repeated horrific savage acts of child and sexual abuse. My abuse lasted for eleven years and ended when I was seventeen.
Stay tuned, and let me share more about my experience with memory issues.
My Repressed Memory Journey
I had repressed my memory when a child while my abuse was active. I learned years later in therapy that this was a psychological coping mechanism to help me survive my ordeal.
As a child, I could remember bits and pieces and knew that I had suffered bad things, but the details and timelines were unclear. And then, in my early 40s, I had a significant triggering event that forced my horrid memories to resurface.
It was like everything had been stuffed into a deep storage chest with the lid sealed tight for over twenty years, and then suddenly, the lid burst open, and the memories with precise, distinct details came at me like a tsunami.
I learned in therapy that the mind protects itself during chronic trauma and only reveals the disturbing details when it feels ready and able to cope with the actual story and the consequences.
It took me years of therapy to recover, and it was the last form of therapy, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing, or EMDR therapy, that I found to be the most beneficial.
I then recovered to a place where I could again function as an adult and return to contributing to society.
My Novel
I’ve written a novel about my life. It begins with my horrible childhood and continues through my remarkable journey of survival and recovery.
My novel’s title is “Boy in the Barn: Journey of Triumph Over Horrific Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse, and PTSD.” It’s an inspiring LGBTQIA+ coming-of-age story about hope, courage, and the resilience of the human spirit.
My novel is for sale on Amazon in Kindle, paperback, and audiobook form. The audiobook is also distributed on Audible and iTunes.
So you can read or listen to my painful but inspirational story to learn more about how I survived my abuse and made the best of my life despite my horrible childhood.
My audiobook was just released. I am still seeking audiobook reviewers willing to honestly review and rate my new audiobook.
If you want to be one of my reviewers, please listen to the Audible Sample and read the novel description on my Amazon Sales Page. Then email me at info@kurt-b-ellis.com expressing your interest in leaving an audiobook review on Audible.
I will use my Audible ACX credits to give you a copy of my audiobook. And you will get a free copy for doing an honest review! But you’ll need to act soon before the free ACX credits run out.
Thank You for Your Time
Thank you for your time today. Also, click on the links below and see my published books. Like my video? Hit the subscribe button and give me a thumbs up.
And don’t forget that your feedback is always greatly valued and much appreciated. I enjoy hearing from you. So please leave your comments below, and I will respond to you as soon as possible.
Have a wonderful day!
Book Reviews and Promotions
My inspiring LGBTQIA+ coming-of-age story is about hope, courage, and the resilience of the human spirit.
My novel has received great reviews on Amazon and Goodreads.
You can find a full review by Robin Ginther-Venneri on her website, “Robin’s Review,” and her site on TikTok.
Also, you can see my novel listed in online blogs at “The Novel Bookstore,” “Readers Village,” “Mystery & Thriller Library,” and “Amazon Book of the Day.”
In addition, you can find my novel spotlighted on Instagram by author Leonora Ross and promoted at “It’s Write Now,” “Book Hub,” and “Book Knocks.”
Reviews of my favorite books
The Lookback Window by Kyle Dillon HertzMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
A Masterfully Written Novel!
As a childhood sexual abuse victim by male abusers, I agreed to review this book with feelings of reserved curiosity. Nevertheless, I was quickly impressed with the writer’s style. Hertz demonstrates a mastery of English with his colorful use of words to set the theme and plot and convey his characters’ thoughts and feelings.
Hertz takes you on the painful journey of Dylan, the main character, to find peace with his traumatic past of horrific childhood sexual abuse at the hands of a duplicitous boyfriend who pimped him out to a group of pedophiles. In addition, this boyfriend introduced him to a world of severe drug use and sex addiction. Dylan struggles through it into adulthood, making many mistakes while trying to get justice against his abusers. Yet the clock is ticking, with the statute of limitations against crimes committed many years before. Ultimately, Dylan obtains much-needed evidence to cinch his case with the FBI.
This was a book that I found hard to put down and compelled to keep reading. As a sexual abuse victim, I empathized with Dylan, understood his many struggles, and wanted justice for his abusers. I loved this novel until the end, and I’m sure you will too.
I received an ARC of the Kindle and voluntarily submitted this review.
View all my reviews
The Deviant by Adam SommersMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Mesmerizing Until the Last Page!
As a male sexual abuse victim of male abusers, I had ambivalent feelings about reading this book by Adam Sommers. But I was intrigued to read this story about male sexual abuse victims of a female abuser. This twisted narration does not disappoint. Sommers lays out the journey of an extremely wealthy woman who uses her position in life to take advantage of and sexually victimize her male employees. The characters were well-developed, and the story was spellbinding. I was mesmerized until the last page.
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I Know Where You Live by Gregg OlsenMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Disturbing and Intense!
I was reeled in by Gregg Olsen’s hook in the first chapter. And I didn’t want to stop reading until the end. This was a disturbing story and intense to read. Olsen used his platform to bring to light the common problem of the long-lasting effects of child sexual abuse and how it impacts families for a lifetime. I loved how Olsen headed up chapters with different characters' views. It helped me to keep track of all the main- and subplots. Amazingly, this book had an unexpected twist at the end with one of its sub-characters. It created an ending I did not expect. An engaging thriller to read, for sure!
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Fear Collector by Gregg OlsenMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Intoxicating “Who Done It”
I describe this book as an intoxicating “who done it.” Olsen masterfully pulls you in with a series of unresolved murders of young women in Tacoma, WA. Some subplots steer you in one direction, making you think you’ve resolved the murder mysteries. Yet, it is not until the last chapters that the real murderer is revealed, a person unsuspected from the beginning. Once I got into it, this book was hard to put down. A captivating thriller to the last page!
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Paint by Murders by Amanda JaegerMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Mesmerized Until the End!
I was pleasantly surprised to read this thriller by Amanda Jaeger. I am not interested in art or paintings, so I started this book with ambivalent feelings. But Jaeger masterfully uses this backdrop to draw the reader in and hold their attention. Once I started reading, I didn’t want to stop until I finished; I was mesmerized until the end. Jaeger ends her book on a cliffhanger, and it begs for a sequel. Dive in and hold on! You will not be disappointed.
I received an ARC of this book and voluntarily submitted this review.
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Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia OwensMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
Written With Poetic Color
As a southerner, I read this book with initial mixed feelings, only to find myself drawn to it in the middle and couldn’t put it down. Owens does a magnificent job of writing with colorful, almost poetic, imagery of the North Carolina coastline depicting a time during the 1900s when the south transitioned from old to new. Linking nature to human frailty, this is a captivating murder mystery with a surprise at the end that shows all is not as it appears. An intriguingly entertaining book to read.
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Mandate Thirteen by Joseph J. DowlingMy rating: 5 of 5 stars
An Exciting Dystopian Thriller
I was pleasantly surprised to read this dystopian thriller by Joseph Dowling. Dowling takes you along the perilous journey of Michael Randall and his daughter, Hope, to escape their rigidly controlled English government. A country where thirteen-year-old girls are forced to submit to fertility tests for government-run baby factories. She finds refuge in Scotland with her father’s brother. Yet, it is unclear what will happen to Michael. This book is ripe for a sequel. Jump in! I’m sure you’ll enjoy the ride. You will not be disappointed.
I received an ARC of this book and voluntarily submitted this review.
View all my reviews
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